a new entry

"so, what have people been telling you...?"
---
"yeh, well... people have been telling me a lot. I've been realising even more. And still, I miss you. still, I want you. And so I am willing to wait. Perhaps ばか of me... but it is as it is. mit der Zeit alles erkklärt sich.


                                       -baixinha, I love you


..2

still can't sleep

and i ask myself, why am i still in love with you?

you've shown me nothing but sorrow... maybe because of our differences.

still, i can only think of you... there are others but none like you.

you are my love, you are who i want, you are the one who has my heart.

this should be a song but here is no melody to it, for you are missing... the one song that is for mi..... my song mi.

i think of a promise, one which i still remember...

i remember how you reminded me of it and i remember how i should remember.

i remember how you reminded me...

i remember how everything started... and i still remember how beautiful it was...

and still i hope that one day it will be what i am looking for.

a broken heart looking to be healed.

..2

---

because i still remember... clear as day, when you and i were together, when you and i still laid together in bed... because these memories are still as vivid as life is... because... just because, you are who you are. and, 'god' knows why, i still love you...

---

some have said i shouldn't write but just photograph, because i have an eye for the moment. nonetheless, i write because i think. and still i photograph because i see... yet, although i can see much, i still cannot see who i really am. and again i continue on my journey, looking for that what i am looking for.

and on and on, you are always in my mind, because i still feel for you what i then felt... so strongly, so intensively... so passionately and so emotionally.

and here i lay, hoping that these messages from me you read... hoping to see you there where i fell in love with you.

a hopeless romantic... hoping for your romance.

..2

good bye HSM...

i've not forgotten about you, but i've moved on.

as i listen to an old melody, i realise, that my ability to feel moves on, as do the waves strike onto the beach. i will never forget you, songmi, but i cannot live based on a fantasy... my life is fantastical as it is. and you have been part of it.

now, restlessly, it feels attracted to another woman. nothing mutual as far as i can tell, but she is one that blows my mind away...

nonetheless, i think of and am reminded of you more often than i'd like. different situations and people i see just make me think of you. though i've tried to show you, not much have you shown me. i still think of that promise, and i will be there, for on that date not far from you i will be. no matter what, i will wait for you, just to se if you as well can keep a promise you reminded me of... a promise to again meet at that same place we met for the first time.

life goes on, but you are always with me and always will be, for part of my life you have been and so part of my life you will always be... that beautiful tree who sang a beautiful Song for Mi.

traveler's dream

she's a queen to be, and he wishes a knight he was. although, he is not nobility but a traveler, discovering the world. as of this, they cannot be... until rules are changed, when a queen can see that love is not classified, and a traveler understands he cannot forever so be, for love has a home and cannot be alone.

realities

In the world of modern technology where communication all over is real-time, where friends can chat on opposite sides of the globe, where culture is slowly being consumed by capitalism, where nature is being devoured by greed, who would have thought that reality has crossed its boundaries right under our noses. Fantasy seems to only exist in books and minds, nevertheless it surrounds us as the very air we breathe. One needs not to go far to experience the marvels of the surreal.

On the other hand, only after travelling across the continents can we experience in the skin the different realities absorbed in the one world, different realms coexisting in one space, a space determined by political boundaries, boundaries drawn by lust, lust emerged from greed.

The fantasy of magic is not unreal, but the very reality we live in. Beings with magical power, beings of purity, not left alone by those of evil and deceit. Which brings to the not so trivial question, what is the purpose of good without evil?

Modernity has taken us to a reality where what once was possible has become either a myth or absurd. Still, with a bit of imagination and determination to believe, that what we think unbelievable, impossible is but a step away from being real. We have lost the will to believe that love can be true, that miracles can happen. We have lost that what makes us who we really are and have come to be. Believe in oneself. The belief of being able to achieve anything we set our minds to. Such power still exists, nonetheless is used with individualistic ideals. Less and less, we forget about others, hence we forget ourselves. The basic “laws” of existence have been overcome by ignorance.

a hint of magic

it was in my dreams that she came to me, looked at me with her puppy sparkling eyes and said 'i love you too'.

still, in my confusion i did not know what to make of it. did she come to me from another realm to sooth my mind? was it indeed just a dream?

what we should not forget is that magic exists around us. it surrounds us in the simplest ways. the light breeze that touches us with invisible finger, the reflection of the moon on the sea dancing to an unheard song, the beauty of feelings that come from the deepest parts of our souls.

love is yet to be understood by us, nonetheless it remains waiting to be discovered and treasured.

now, in a time of tidal currents, not at ease with myself, i dig deep inside to find the strength for stability, to further accomplish that what lays ahead. reminding myself of all the magic around, calms my mind and soul.

wish of a monKey

wish i may, wish i might

have this wish i wish tonight

that she comes to see me

so together we can be

that beautiful tree that touched me

no other do i wish to climb

with you i want to be

and no one else in my mind

when love is ignored

love is confusing... yet so clear.

love is a challenge... as it is a test.

love is life... as life is full of love.

---

3so, speaking about love again?

2yes...

3any conclusions about the topic?

2no...

3let us shed some light into your darkness;

love has no intensity. it is either true love or a rush of desire and lust. you can only understand it if you accept it as being true. otherwise, you will go through life with a never ending diminishing acceptance of love. if you are afraid of it, you will never accept it. however, if you accept it, there will always be a chance of getting hurt, for love is pleasure and pain in one. which one prevails depends on your honesty to yourself. love can blind reason, yet reason can destroy love... so you see, until you find the courage to accept love, there will always be someone else hurting.

3helpful?

2no...

3confusing?

2yes...

3how are you feeling?

2confused and helpless...

crossroads - love

i've shed so many tears, yet i ask myself if they were in vain.

love came again to me, yet like the king of fools, i've lost it as i once did before.

love is something incomprehensible. such a feeling inside, what is it? are we really to feel such? do our feelings trick us into a trap?

the crossroads of love defines us in the future. and so may this be prosperous, precious and giving.

tired of going through life without an objective. to have a life with your love, wherever and whenever it may be, is a new dream, and the only to have.